January 2010
I hope 2010 sucks
mattgorman:
Because I just want to be different.
A nasty crystal meth addiction will help that right along. Actually the first part of 2010 will be really awesome because you’ll be really productive as you stay up for 129 hours at a time, but the second half would suck when you start losing your teeth and giving blowjobs for meth.
December 2009
New Years Resolutions:
hammerito:
1.) Stop eating processed foods.*
Likely duration of resolution: As soon as I run out of oranges (One week).
2.) Stop socially smoking.*
Likely duration of resolution: Next time I’m at the bar (One week).
3.) Write every day.
I had a professor tell me that if I wasn’t spending my time writing to get published, that he would “Hunt [me] down and kick the shit out of [me].”
Likely...
Yellow/White Pages
Can we stop this? I doubt 75% of the population even touches one of these anymore, it’s outdated and it wastes a shit load of paper. If I need a plumber I’m not reaching for the yellow pages, I’m hopping on the internet and finding one.
I’m not one to advocate for super green stuff like riding your bike to work or getting a stupid smart car, but come on, these things are...
Year In Review
Some shitty stuff
Some cool stuff
Some shitty stuff
Some cool stuff
Some shitty stuff
Some cool stuff
Some shitty stuff
Some cool stuff
Fun Search Terms
These are some of the search terms people have used to find this amazing terrible internet web site
dessa from doomtree boobs (really?) bright pink and green soccer cleats denver weed restaurants examples of jersey shore nicknames halladay to phillies (really? there is no way this site wasn’t the 500th search result for that, you have no better sources than my tumblr?) hammerito let us...
1 tag
Whenever someone prefaces a statement with...
it’s usually not controversial or unpopular. You’re just trying to make yourself look smart or show that you’ve got an edgy, unpopular viewpoint. Oooh look at you, you’ve got an opinion on something
I think I’m going to start every conversation I have that way from now on though.
“You guys probably won’t agree with this, but I don’t think Osama Bin...
Last night I had a dream I had a wolf I was riding around the neighborhood, it later attacked me, but I really want to get myself a wolf to ride on because that would be fucking bad ass.
Thanks to the magic of wifi, people can now use the internet from anywhere in their homes.
Yes, thank you mom for explaining to me how wifi works! (I’m gusssing my mother will be saying this exact statement to me in a couple of years)
What I’m trying to say is you’ve locked yourself in the bathroom and Google Image Searched Andrey Arshavin, haven’t you?
Actually...
I haven't annoyed you people with this shit... →
…and it’s usually entertaining, so lets hear your questions about underwear, since that’s about 90% of the questions I get.
1 tag
“If your hubby likes the Brewers so much, and you don’t want the kid to...”
– Big Daddy Balls
Grandparents
theosballad:
Graphic descriptions of current ailments
Overt, casual racism
$50 in an envelope for Xmas (Thanks Grandma & Grandpa!)
Why have you been hanging out with my Grandma?
Paranormal Activity
Was a terrible movie. Nothing about it was scary.
1 tag
World Peace was in my stocking, does that count?
twoyellowsequalred:
eat some chocolate now and then tell me what was your favourite gift you got for christmas?
Perhaps I shall, as an appetizer.
My sister bought me a lovely leather coat, that’s something I desperately needed since my other one was stolen out at a pub.
More?
If she was a good sister she would have known the proper type of coat to get you…
1 tag
matt-t:
folkinz:
outkast: b.o.b.
In a silk...
WINE CRUNK!
“Now how do you get that out of the computer?”
– My grandmother, regarding a word document I was typing.
1 tag
southwest: don't make me throat punch a bitch.
recognizethereal:
when you call me back, for a “customer service” phone call, don’t EV-ER say “souuuufwessss… this rahhhbert” and be silent for 20 seconds.
YOU CALLED ME, BRUH.
now if mother nature would just stay lady-like, i wouldn’t have to worry about all’uh this.
NOOOOOOOOOO.
she wants to be a hussy. blizzard ‘09, on the way.
changed my flight to ass-early tomorrow. flying through...
"Hi Internet" -Katerade
She told me to say hi to those that I thought she would say hi to, but I’m too lazy for that, so hi to everyone.
1 tag
Paige: Moreno not in running to get job done for... →
wildcraw:
Here are statistics the Broncos won’t tell you, and you may not believe:
Of Knowshon Moreno’s 224 runs this season, 36.6 percent have been stopped for 1, 0 or negative yards. A startling 23.7 percent of his rushes have produced a cumulative minus-39 yards.
Knowshon had no gain on five of his carries Sunday against the Raiders. He lost yardage on four attempts. He picked up 1 yard...
Dane Cook is on Jay Leno tonight!
Just when you thought the Jay Leno show couldn’t get any more unfunny!
“I’d really love 8 inches”
– My parents neighbor, talking about snow, but I was obviously wanting to giggle like a 12 year old
Pitchfork Top 10 Albums, In US Sales
inthefade:
essdogg:
adamisacson:
perpetua:
1. Animal Collective Merriweather Post Pavilion 131k 2. Dirty Projectors Bitte Orca 48k 3. the xx xx 35k 4. The Flaming Lips Embryonic 75k (estimate) 5. Raekwon Only Built For Cuban Linx Part II 141k 6. Grizzly Bear Veckatimest 132k 7. Bat For Lashes Two Suns 36k 8. Phoenix Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix 205k 9. Fever Ray Fever Ray 23k 10. Girls Album...
1 tag
OMG!!!!
50% off all HBO series at Best Buy. I do not need to impulsively buy myself the complete set of The Wire, but I want to soooooo bad.
HOW-EVA!
There were some very beautiful women at the mall. I don’t feel as bad now that I have to go to ANOTHER mall because this one didn’t have what I needed.
Why did I come to the mall?
Fuck this shit.
“Do any of you have diabeetus?”
– My grandma, and yes she said DIABEETUS
also, I’ve drank a lot of wine. <3 U Holidays
1 tag
ILLUSTRATED EXAMPLE
recognizethereal:
ha. jokes on you.
now… if it were a hummingbird on that piece, you’d have it postmarked & addressed to me.
so HA.
HA. you wish. I’ll have something for you soon enough.
Anti-Deity, Crbrown, and Matt-T
Rather than reblog the shit out of the painting, I figured I’d just reply here:
Anti-Deity
Thanks. It’s not full on Ed Hardy style (I still need to add the rhinestones) but I sort of got the Ed Hardy vibe after I was done because of the distressed background and the tattoo style bird. I’m glad though that it doesn’t give off that much Ed Hardy steez though.
Matt-T
Done....
Lift Her Pull Her by Atmosphere
you don’t...
I wish I could talk to Hulu.
lekdek:
I would tell it that I don’t want to watch the Bud Light Golden Wheat commercial all at once nor do I want to watch it in parts. But that the beer I DO buy that I can drink is made by Budweiser, so it’s okay.
Great Divide brewery makes a rice beer as well. I’ve never had it but all of Great Divide’s stuff is pretty good and I’d imagine it is too.
Pigs are the best food ever invented.