I’m always sad I don’t go to sxsw, I want to get my techinternetwebsocialinnovation on and talk about twitter with other people who love twitter, then I’ll talk about how I met all these awesome innovative twitter people on twitter so the people on twitter can see I was with the people from twitter and then the people from twitter will twitter about me and then twitter twitter twitter twitter twitter twitter twitter
—Me, just now.
We’re doing a flashmob, it’s going to be really cool and probably go viral on the internet.
—Things said in 2006 by people doing Harlem Shake videos in 2013
“Hi! What can I get you today?”
“Well, we have our light blonde, medium Pike’s Peak or a bold dark roast coffee.”
Pike’s Peak sounded foreign, so Joe immediately dismissed it in his mind. His high school sweetheart was a blonde and he liked her, but the tingling reminded him, big day. Bold. Big day.
“Dark roast.” Joe hoped he sounded convincing enough even though he thought his heart was going to burst through his chest.
“Would you like a shot of syrup? Hazelnut? Dolce de leche? Carmel? Vanilla? Chocolate? We still have pumpkin spice left if you want it.”
“Um, how much is a shot of syrup?” The tingle had turned to a throb.
“All of them. I want all the syrups.” Why were his ears ringing? Maybe the team doctor would be there when he signed his contract. He could ask if the flu was going around again.
“You want six different coffees?”
Joe started to do the math in his head and when he realized he was about to spend more than ten dollars for coffee he panicked. “No, just put all the syrups in one cup of coffee.” This is not how a big day was supposed to go, he told himself.
My birthday is just 11 months away so if anyone wants to get me a cool present, they can get me this Crystal Pepsi Nicolas Cage denim jacket collaboration.