Dear Roberto

(GFOP Curtis vents after an incredible weekend. Send your telegrams to meninblazers@gmail.com)

To Roberto Mancini and the Manchester City players,

First off, thanks for making Survival Sunday an epic day of football. What an unbelievable finish to the season.

Second, amid all the celebrations, home fireworks displays, and Boddingtons-soaked orgies… take a second to realize what you’ve accomplished this season. Man City, with your billions of dollars and elite world-class squad, you managed to (barely) beat a Man United squad with the median age of an old folks home… consisting of a retired mid-fielder, more than a few should-have-been-put-out-to-pasture players and a half blind goalkeeper. And it took you until the very last day of the season… dramatic pause… in the final 5 minutes of stoppage time. Way to go chaps.

Maybe instead of all the celebrating, Roberto, you should be calling your squad in tomorrow to start running drills for next season.

Regards,

Curtis Pierce
a Chelsea fan in Los Angeles

I find it rather hilarious that a Chelsea fan would say any of this as if they’re not backed by billions of dollars. I’ve seen this foolish argument crop up over the last few days, as if United is some team of miscreants that some upstart team managed to put together with a bottle of elmers glue and some Yawkey Way brand grit. United has an entire squad full of expensive stars, yeah sure there are some old guys nearing their ends, but Ashley Young was not purchased for a pack of crisps.