WHY ALWAYS ME?

Things Yahoo is going to change about Tumblr

Mon, 20 May 2013 07:46:00 -0600

I’m sure you, internet user, are very excited/sad about Yahoo buying Tumblr, and you should be, because there are about to be a whole lot of changes going on, and I happen to know what they are because I have a time machine, so read on and learn more about your new overlords.

1. Clicking the question button on a post will double post your question to Yahoo answers. Finally your semi private questions you ask your followers will be answered by people like LebronJeter23 and butterflyprincess4023, you know you can’t wait to hear what they have to say.

2. Tons of new users you will be forced to follow. Up until today literally nobody knew about tumblr except you and the 200 Dr Who gif blogs you follow, but now that yahoo bought it, there are going to be billions of users, and you’re going to be forced to follow ALL of them. No longer will you be able to avoid seeing people posting dumb shit on the internet all day.

3. Julia Allison is back and everyone is forced to follow her. Because Yahoo fucking hates you.

4. The site is going to get all sorts of changes right away. Everyone knows the best way to keep your user base happy is to change everything up like crazy so that people quit using your site.

5. All of the porn will go away. This sucks because there isn’t anywhere else on the internet to get massive amounts of free pornography.

6. There will be more ads. This is really foolish, because everyone knows that every website that has offered a free service and then added advertisement has gone straight in the shitter. I wish twitter was still around, but they died once they started doing ads.

7. In order to keep your tumblr you must get a tattoo of David Karp and Marissa Meyer making out. I’ve had mine for a while so it’s no big deal, but the rest of you need to get on that shit.

8. Who gives a shit. Unless you own a stake in tumblr or yahoo, this isn’t going to do shit to your life.

Because duh.

Sat, 18 May 2013 15:48:06 -0600

Because duh.

adidasfootball: Alonso and Koke will both be battling to...

Fri, 17 May 2013 12:20:10 -0600

adidasfootball:

Alonso and Koke will both be battling to Nitrocharge the 2013 Copa del Rey Final.

Who will be The Engine to power their team to victory?

You know what’s cool? 3D gifs. Because I wear 3D glasses when using the computer just HOPING to one day see a 3D gif, and you finally did it Adidas, you finally did it.

If David Beckham is only as good as a Becks, what is John Terry...

Thu, 16 May 2013 16:20:46 -0600

If David Beckham is only as good as a Becks, what is John Terry going to get when he retires? A bottle of Moonshine that causes blindness is my guess.

"It sounds like someone who is hip to the world we are stuck in today is who you are looking for...."

Wed, 15 May 2013 09:12:19 -0600

“It sounds like someone who is hip to the world we are stuck in today is who you are looking for. Thats me, I’m a college student with an ambition to succeed. my resume is attached.”

- The entirety of a “cover letter” I got today.

The patriots Instagram is as good as you thought it would be.

Tue, 14 May 2013 17:33:45 -0600

The patriots Instagram is as good as you thought it would be.

“Pretend I’m still in college” is the most...

Fri, 10 May 2013 07:47:00 -0600

“Pretend I’m still in college” is the most perfect description of Boston I’ve ever seen.

jhermann: muggleland: the ceo of abercrombie and fitch has a lot of nerve saying that ugly people...

Thu, 09 May 2013 10:10:00 -0600

jhermann:

muggleland:

the ceo of abercrombie and fitch has a lot of nerve saying that ugly people shouldn’t wear his clothes when he looks like an albino orc from the lord of the rings

that’s the fastest I’ve seen a non-fandom post get 100,000 notes

This Abercrombie CEO thing is hilarious to me for a number of reasons.

1. That is a 68 year old man. How much shit has he pumped into his face?

2. The comment that made the internet go nuts? Wasn’t even made by this guy. It was made by some guy hawking a book about retail, and the guy said he thought that Mike Jefferies thought these things.

3. The comment that the guy actually made was from 2006. That’s like a fucking dinosaur in internet time. I don’t even remember what I was doing in 2006.

4. Does anyone seriously actually consider Abercrombie a viable fashion choice anymore? They’ve perpetually sold the exact same clothing for the last 15 years. Cargo pants, cargo shorts, cargo tank tops, cargo flip flops. It is your go to destination for cargo related wares, but I didn’t think people wore cargo related clothing since 2003. If you’re shopping at Abercombie, you probably feel the same way about “fat” and “ugly” people as this dude does, because you’re a douchebag.

Photo

Wed, 08 May 2013 19:01:53 -0600

Master P is essentially making home movies about how cool he is,...

Wed, 01 May 2013 09:06:54 -0600

Master P is essentially making home movies about how cool he is, but instead of just setting up a camera in his basement and doing Karate moves, he’s making them into actual movies, because he’s Master P and he’s rich as shit.

Also, I need to see Internet Dating so bad.

Punk Rock Bands

Mon, 29 Apr 2013 15:34:00 -0600

Punk Rock Bands

Doing really important things on my LinkedIn page

Mon, 29 Apr 2013 13:08:09 -0600

Doing really important things on my LinkedIn page

New favorite blog alert!

Mon, 29 Apr 2013 07:57:15 -0600

New favorite blog alert!

Sundaze

Sun, 28 Apr 2013 08:44:53 -0600

Sundaze

#TEAMSANDWICH

Fri, 26 Apr 2013 13:25:59 -0600

Dear everybody, Can we stop calling everything a grilled...

Fri, 26 Apr 2013 13:06:00 -0600

Dear everybody,

Can we stop calling everything a grilled cheese? This is a Philly Cheesesteak that’s just not on a sub roll, not a grilled cheese. (Ok sure Philly people will argue that it’s a Philly Cheese steak, but you get the point). A grilled cheese is cheese and bread, maybe some condiments or some meat, that’s it. Everything else is a fucking sandwich.

Have a happy friday!

The fact that NOBODY on the the internet even attempted to make...

Wed, 24 Apr 2013 10:26:50 -0600

The fact that NOBODY on the the internet even attempted to make this joke yet is pretty sad to me.

Boston is being the most Boston ever right now.

Fri, 19 Apr 2013 21:28:03 -0600

Boston is being the most Boston ever right now.

Here is a picture of Louie Anderson striking a sexy pose on that...

Tue, 16 Apr 2013 10:52:36 -0600

Here is a picture of Louie Anderson striking a sexy pose on that Splash show to break up your day of sad news.

adidasfootball: It’s blue, what else matters? Whoever thought...

Sat, 06 Apr 2013 11:32:00 -0600

adidasfootball:

It’s blue, what else matters?

Whoever thought this campaign up at Adidas should be fired. It’s like saying “Hey we produced another ugly kit, can you buy it before you see how ugly it is?”

Plus I’ve never wanted to see a half naked John Terry covered in blue paint, but then you went and made my dreams a reality, so good job guys.